


Best Left Buried Deep

by MidnightCarnival



Series: What Comes After [5]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Lucian Trevelyan, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Recovery, Rite of Tranquility, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 06:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3886027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightCarnival/pseuds/MidnightCarnival
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cole begins to say things that strike a bit to close to the chest for Lucian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Left Buried Deep

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger for implied rape in dialogue by Cole.

"His flesh doesn't fit him right, a cruel facade. They say its a punishment from the Maker." Lucian Trevelyan tenses at Cole's words and it takes a concentrated effort to relax so not to draw the inquisitive glances of Dorian, and Bull. If he's lucky, Cole will be too vague to make it clear who he is talking about. 

Really, it was as though he could not have a single day of hunting Venetori through the woods without someone trying to stick themselves into his delicate issues. 

"Bright, like the sun they use to make their order. It burns his flesh with its light. They call it just." Cole's voice seems sadder when he says this, but it's not as though he is a ray of sunshine under normal circumstances. 

....That probably wasn't the best choice of words. Lucian chooses to simply continue leading onward, both ignoring Cole and searching for more signs of their quarry. 

"bloodied fingers and thighs. 'I will fix you' they say. If that's true why is he so broken?" 

"What are you on about?" Dorian asks from where he walks behind Lucian, curiosity in his voice. Lucian does not turn to look, simply picking up the pace again in some hope that he'll just...stop. His breaths are coming in quicker, more shallow from the panic he is feeling. 

"He has no Maker, no god to which to pray. Only demons that would pray upon him. He doesn't have even that anymore. 'This is your penance' they say. No god would have such a mistake." Cole begins to speak faster, more words pouring out like incriminating ink on the paper. 

"White curtains are bloodied and he yearns to slice them away. Everyday a new one comes. Taking pleasure from incorrect flesh that cannot feel or resist. They say his light is wrong and he does not believe them even then. Then, in a flash of light, a given hand-" 

"Shut up!" Lucian finally snaps, whirling on the spirit and causing Dorian to jump and Bull to regard him carefully.

"The hurt is too much." Cole whispers sadly, seemingly unaffected by Lucian's outburst. "How do I fix it?" He asks Lucian Helplessly, looking up at him sadly from under his hat.

Lucian only glares, turning on his heel and shaking off Bull's hand as he tries to keep him from storming off. 

"You can't. So be silent." 

Lucian does not see the worry in his companions eyes as he goes.

**Author's Note:**

> Explanation of Cole's Dialogue:  
> Lucy and Lucian both mean light. Hence the line where Cole says "your light is wrong" refers to how he was no longer allowed to refer to himself by his chosen name in the Circle. Because in their eyes he was a woman. 
> 
> "Bright, like the sun they use to make their order. It burns his flesh with its light. They call it just." Refers to the moment that Lucian was branded. The symbol is the sun which is also the sign of the chantry and it burns him just like the sun. 
> 
> "bloodied fingers and thighs. 'I will fix you' they say. If that's true why is he so broken?" This clearly refers to the corrective rape Lucian endured in the Circle. 
> 
> "He has no Maker, no god to which to pray. Only demons that would pray upon him. He doesn't have even that anymore. 'This is your penance' they say. No god would have such a mistake." This line is about how, as a mage, Lucian had no one to truly ask for help or mercy. Anything he suffered would always be justified. The only beings that offered even a (false) hope of help were demons and that was taken away by the Rite. It also refers to how as both a mag and a transgender man, he was a "mistake" in the eyes of the Chantry, and they told him such. 
> 
> "White curtains are bloodied and he yearns to slice them away. Everyday a new one comes. Taking pleasure from incorrect flesh that cannot feel or resist." Refers to how Lucian was not allowed to cut his hair in order to fit him better into what the Chantry saw as his "true" gender. The line about pleasure refers to how as a Tranquil, Lucian had even less ability to resist.


End file.
